Brown's Cafe Bistro and Bar-Unit 5 Madeline Court | Berry Hill, Mansfield, England

Brown's Cafe Bistro is a little treasure hidden within a housing estate in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire. It has a uniquely quirky interior... and although the wine glasses are standard, they are extremely clean....

....according to my dad who had to empty his glass just to find out. This in mind we give the glasses a 6!

The toilets on the other hand are quirky awesome....

...LOVE the quirky mirror!!!

...LOVE the caption wall art. I know a few blokes I could say this to!

LOVE the fact that there are numbers on the toilet doors. It makes them look like front doors to houses so I can pretend I'm on the set of Corrie.

Toilets were clean and were good flushers!

Even the toilet brush had some detail to it. All in all I give this toilet an stonking 8.5!!!

The Crazy Bear Beaconsfield Old Town Beaconsfield Buckinghamshire

 This hotel is absolutely bonkers, fabulous but bonkers! With an interior that might be even too much for Liberace,  it's a place of luxury and decadence. It's no surprise therefore that the wine glasses are an undeniable 10!

Unfortunately I didn't feel that welcome here. Particularly as the bar staff tried to turn me away saying 'the bar was only open to residents.' Presumably I didn't look posh enough to be a resident. It felt a bit like that famous scene from Pretty Woman... because of this I was too scared to ask where the toilets were in the bar, therefore can only contrast the wine glasses with the toilets in my room. YES I WAS A RESIDENT! As you can see (or not), the toilets are extremely luxurious, but maybe a little too dark.... which might prove tricky for a mans aim when he's had a drink.... although the bar staff were a bit snotty, I still like it here and give the toilets a 9..... a score largely helped by the fact the toiletries are Molton Brown!!!

Also, just to give you the heads up.... if you're planning a romantic weekend here there's just a curtain separating your modesty from the main room. It's a fabulous curtain, but still just a curtain just the same. I'd suggest considering that if you're not quite at the 'sharing' stage.